Yellow and Orange

Beautiful Duluth

2009-06-11T09:26:00.001-05:00

Tuesday!

2009-06-07T22:05:00.002-05:00

Tuesday is Bil's big day. I can't believe it. And yet, I can't believe that it's been this long. I can't decide how I feel about the time. It's gone by fast and slow. It's been horrifying and a great learning experience all at the same time. I hope that we don't have to wait months and months for a decision because I'm just tired of waiting.

I have lots of plans for my blog...stay tuned!

It's time.

2009-05-31T23:09:00.002-05:00

I left Italy a few days over a year ago. I can't believe it. I can't believe that it has been a year since I last had un cafe in a bar with Bil in the morning. I can't believe that it's been a year since I saw Bil. Hugged him. Kissed him. Just touched him. Time has gone by both fast and slow. It doesn't seem like a year, but it seems like an eternity at the same time.

I miss living in Italy. I miss the relaxed atmosphere. I miss not knowing what people are talking about. I don't like actually being able to understand people's conversations here because people really talk about some really ridiculous things. I miss the food, the coffee, the gelato, the cute men (and women), the markets, the streets, the smells (except for the pee smell by Grom, I don't miss that), the bells, the sights, the tourists. I miss it all.

I never thought in a million years that I'd actually like living in a foreign country so much. I think about living somewhere else almost daily. I think about other places I could live with Bil. What we'd do there, where we could go, how my life would be there. And I'm not opposed. When I first moved back here from Italy, I didn't think there was any way that I could live in Tunisia or any other Arabic country for that matter. But, I think I was wrong. I could live in Tunisia. At some point, we will live in Tunisia. And I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm kind of excited for it. I want to know Bil's family. I want them to know me. I want to learn about his culture so I can pass that knowledge on to our kids. I want to learn the language, the food, the customs. I think it will be important for us as a couple and for us when we have children.

I'm too comfortable here in my life in the United States. I'm too complacent, too okay with whatever happens. I don't take risks, I don't DO anything. It's time for me to start living my life here instead of living my life in my head. I need to get out of my comfort zone, take some risks, and live the life I dream of no matter where I'm living at the time. It's time to start living.

Just another reason why I need a camera

2009-05-23T22:59:00.000-05:00

My point and shoot has recently taken a turn for the worse. It hasn't been the same since my trip to Barcelona, but in the time since I've been home from Italy, it's just been getting worse and worse. I'm reminded almost daily why I need to get a new camera, even if it's just a new point and shoot. This picture was one of those reminders.

What a fabulous moment. And another one that makes my ovaries hurt, I have baby fever!

A striking resemblance

2009-05-21T22:50:00.002-05:00

I discovered this gem on the Sexy People blog. After laughing for a few seconds, I figured out why he looked familiar to me. He's like every guy I dated before I met Bil. What was I THINKING?!?!?!? And why didn't anyone slap me silly? My most recent ex probably has pictures that are exactly like this one if not worse. Seriously, I found that attractive?!?! I think I more found myself so unattractive that I thought that was all I could get. How wrong I was.

Thank heavens I've figured that out because, well, wow. That is just some scary stuff.

I suck at keeping ya'll in the loop!

2009-05-17T10:17:00.003-05:00

New visa interview date: June 9! I'm just glad it wasn't too far in the future. That would have killed me if their next appointment was in August or something ridiculous.

I left Italy May 27 (I was supposed to leave May 26), so it's been almost a year. An entire freaking year. That's just way, WAY too long.

Plans as of now are that once his visa gets approved, he'll work for a few weeks to give them time to find a replacement. Then, his parents will come to Italy to visit him and then once they leave, he'll come here. Originally, he was going to go to Tunisia to visit, but realizes that he'll have to be down there a long time. He wants us to go together after we get settled here. We'll see how that goes!

There is a slight possibility that I'll go to Italy this summer to meet his Mom and Dad before he comes here. We'll see. I don't have the money for it, but if it's important to him, we might just have to find the money. I'd love to go to Italy again for a little while anyway. It'd be a whirlwind tour of me seeing some things in Firenze and then going up to Pordenone to visit his sister and Mom and Dad. We'd have to take the same flight back to America because I don't think I'd be able to leave him in Italy again. So, we'll just have to see.

I've had a rough few days of just missing him so incredibly much it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I have these days and I've just learned to live with them. Certain people get the blunt end of that though and end up with me crying for no reason. There's a guy at work that I've become good friends with that reminds me so much of Bil it's almost scary. He gets it a lot and I think because he reminds me so much of him.

As a random sidenote: I'm getting spam comments "Diet Plan" but they actually look like they read my post. Odd. Stop talking to me "Diet Plan."

No date to look forward to.

2009-05-12T20:11:00.003-05:00

Bil's visa appointment won't be on May 20. We were waiting on a police report from Tunisia that needed to be translated from French into English or Italian that was promised would be in on time. Well, it's not. So, I have to reschedule his appointment. To when? I don't know. Hopefully they will have an appointment in the very near future.

UGH.

We are still hoping he'll be here by August. I am just so tired of waiting. So tired.

May 20th!!

2009-05-06T20:08:00.002-05:00

I called yesterday morning to schedule Raouf's (ha, I wrote Bil and erased it) visa interview and it's in 2 weeks on May 20th. Oh my gosh, I'm about to pee myself. Really, you have no idea. All this waiting is almost over. The hardest part for me is now I have no control. I can't fill out the paperwork for him, I can't help him with the English, I can't be there. It's killing me, but knowing that he's pretty charming is helpful. After all, he convinced me and many, many other tourists in Florence to eat at the restaurant. He's good at it. So, I think he'll be able to convince the American consulate that he needs to come here. Plus, he's cute...maybe his interviewer will be a woman that thinks he's cute. Or a guy that bats for the other team that thinks he's cute. Either way, we're golden!

I had quite the adventure the other day trying to get a cable line into my bedroom. Last week, I had the cable guy out to do it for me, but my apartment wouldn't let him put any holes in the wall. So, I decided to put my own holes in the wall. I started with a screwdriver and a hammer and ended with making the hole bigger with a knife. But, I did it and I'm SO excited. Not because I can watch tv in bed, but because I was able to move my desk into my bedroom and it's not in the way anymore! Oh yes, it's the little things that excite me.

I found this LONG survey on someone's Facebook and thought I'd do it. I'm in the mood to talk about myself :) It's 125 questions!

1) Are you really ready for 125 questions?
Yep!

2) Was your last relationship a mistake?
No. The one before the one I'm in now I learned A LOT from and don't regret. I do wish I had realized some things a lot sooner than I did, but now I know them and won't forget.

3) Do you believe in God?
That I'm not sure of yet.

4) Who did you last say "I love you" to?
I've said "I love you" to a lot of people today! First, Raouf on the phone, then Salvador at work, then a trainer at the gym, then my Mom. That's a lot for me, although I meant some of them in different ways (obviously).

5) Do you regret it?
Nope, none of them.

6) Have you ever been depressed?
Yes

7) Have a best friend?
Yes :)

8) Are you a boy or girl?
Woman!

9) What is your relationship status?
As Raouf would say, I'm reserved.

10) How do you want to die?
Suddenly and with no pain.

11) What did you last eat?
Baklava ice cream. Hella good.

14) When was your last non -physical fight?
Whew, a long time ago.

15) Do you have an attitude?
No, I don't think so.

16) Ever been in love?
Yes. I love love.

17) What is your real name?
Toni, although a customer at work today got into an argument with me saying that my name MUST be short for something. But, it's not! It's just Toni.

19) Are you gonna get high later ?
No, never. Ever.

21) Do you miss someone?
Like you wouldn't believe.

22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
Twirl. CUT? Never!

23) Do you tan a lot?
No! I've never ever been tanning in a tanning bed.

24) Do you have any pets?
Nope

25) How exactly are you feeling?
I'm feeling good!

26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?
Yes, lots of time.

27) Ever made out in the bathroom?
Yep, but mainly while in the shower.

28) Would you take any of your exes back?
Nope.

29) Are you scared of spiders?
Not really. Although, I don't want to come face to face with a big one.

30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Not really.

31) Do you regret anything in your past?
No, no regrets.

32) What are your plans for this weekend?
Work. Oh joy.

33) Do you want to have kids?
Yes.

34) Ever kissed somebody that name starts with an A,B,C,E,H,J,K,L,M,R?
That's a lot of letters to choose from. And yes.

35) Do you type fast?
Yes

36) Do you have piercings? How many?
None.

37) Want any more?
No.

39) Do you miss anyone from your past?
Yes

40) What are you craving right now?
Can't say, don't know who reads this!

41) Ever been to a bonfire party?
Yes.

43) Have you ever been on a horse?
Yes, a long time ago and I was scared out of my mind.

44) Kissed someone in a truck?
Yes.

45) Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Perhaps.

46) Have you ever been cheated on?
Not that I know of.

47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
No.

49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Yes.

50) What should you be doing?
Exactly what I'm doing.

51) What's irritating you right now?
My kitchen floor.

52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
Nope.

53) Does somebody love you?
Yes

54) What is your favorite color?
Yellow!

55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yes

57) Do you have trust issues?
I don't think so.

59) Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink?
I don't think so.

60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
With my Mom.

62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
I think he does. He always will, I'm that good!

63) Last person you cried in front of?
I think my manager at work? I don't remember. It was about missing Bil though, so nothing too serious.

64) Do you give out second chances too easily?
Not too easily, no.

65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Hum, interesting question. I think forget.

66) Is this year the best year of your life?
I hope so!

67) What was your childhood nickname(s)?
Ton, Toner...but don't call me that. Ever.

68)Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
No

69) Do you think you're a good person?
Yes, I do.

71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Said "I love you" to Raouf. Yes, I'm a total nerd.

72) Is there anyone you wish was still in your life? Who?
I think so. But, if I really wanted someone in my life I'd contact them.

74) Have you ever been out of state?
Yes

75) Do you play the Wii?
I have, but not in a long time. I'd love a Wii!

76) Are you listening to music right now?
No...listening to Ace of Cakes in the background.

77) Do you like Chinese food?
Yes

78) Do you know your fathers b- day?
July 5th. So, yes.

79) Are you afraid of the dark?
Sort of. I don't like being outside in the dark if I don't know where I am.

80) Is cheating ever okay?
Hum.

81) Are you mean?
No

82) Can you keep white shoes clean?
Nope

83) Have you noticed this survey stopped getting personal?
Nope

84) Do you believe in true love?
Yes

85) Are you proud of the person you've become?
Yes

88) Do you like the weather outside?
Yes

89) Are you currently bored?
No

90) Do you wanna get married?
Yes

91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Ha, I never thought I'd like being called baby or calling someone baby, but I've changed my tune.

92) Are you hungry?
Nope

93) Do you have a bank account?
Yes

94) What makes you happy?
Lots of things. Lately...kids laughter!

95) Would you change your name?
My last name. I like my first name though.

96) Ever been to Alaska?
Nope

98) Do you watch the news?
No

99) What' s your zodiac sign?
Leo

100) Do you like Subway?
Yes

101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
Not at all.

102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Well, my best friend of the opposite sex is Raouf, so I wouldn't be surprised.

103) Do you talk like you're friends?
Probably. I pick up swearing really fast and drop f-bombs if I'm around friends that do.

105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?
Yes! At work today actually...with a creepy customer.

106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self?
Yes

107) Who is the last guy you talked to?
Christian, a trainer at the gym.

108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
I thought it would matter, but I found out that it doesn't. I find it kind of sexy which is just odd. He doesn't smoke anymore though.

110) What's going on between you and your best friend?
He lives 5,000 miles away. That's a lot. Another best friend lives over 1,000 miles away. Stupid distance.

111) Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Deep? Probably Lhia...we do deep well. That sounds wrong.

112) Have you ever regretted letting someone go?
Nope

113) Do you enjoy piercings & tattoos?
Not so much

114) What do you wear more: jeans, sweats, or shorts?
Sweats, but only at home. I wear work pants and shirts the most.

115) Can you name your best friends?
Yes, why wouldn't I be able to?

116) Where do you go if you are butt naked and locked out of your house?
What if I'm buck naked? I wouldn't be naked outside of my house at all. Ever. So I'd never have this problem.

117) Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning?
Morning, otherwise my hair looks very interesting.

118) Have you ever said you'd never love again?
No

119) Do you want to please everyone?
Yes, but I'm breaking out of that.

120) Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
Hmm, no

121) Has someone ever made you a promise & broken it?
Yes, lots of times.

122) Are you alone?
Yes

123) Do you have any older siblings?
Nope

124) Did you speak to your father today?
Nope

125) How many months until your birthday?
Three. I hope Raouf will be here by my birthday. That'd be awesome.

My Best Friend's Girl by Dorothy Koomson - book review

2009-04-26T22:37:00.002-05:00

My Best Friend's Girl by Dorothy Koomson

Read this book. Now. Right now.

I first heard about this book when working at Barnes and Noble. A manager that I couldn't stand recommended it so I refused to buy it (nice, huh?). I've been thinking about the book since because it really did sound good, I just didn't want to give her the "sale." I recently visited Half Price Books and picked it up. I started the book earlier this week and finished it tonight. I considered calling in sick to work today so that I could finish it. Plus, it was rainy and gloomy and I didn't feel like working.

I realized today that I'm horrible at summarizing books, so I won't attempt to here, but you just have to read this book. Read it!! I'm so excited to check out her other books! I haven't read a book that kept my attention like this in a LONG time.

Things that are going on in my life :)

2009-04-16T21:29:00.003-05:00

My Mom got me a webcam this past weekend so tomorrow Bil and I are going to "see" each other for the first time in 10 months. I'm actually slightly nervous. Plus, I'm annoyed at the time difference because I have to get up at 7am on my day off to take a shower before we start talking. Most of all, I'm excited to "see" him. And we should be seeing each other in person soon! It's starting to become a reality!

Some funnies from me to you:
From Overheard in the Office:
HR clerk, reading weather report: It will be dry today.
Receptionist: Not if I think about the new guy.
**I have read this probably every day for the last two weeks and it still makes me laugh. Ha!

Senior consultant to underling: I swear to god, if you don't change your answer I'm kidnapping your monkey!
**WHAT?!?!?!

Coworker before meeting: Okay, let me go grab some paper and pen and pretend to care.
**This is how I felt with every meeting that I went to at my old job.

I don't think I've ever talked about Angela's blog here. She does mainly book reviews and is having fun with it! She is doing a giveaway for the book Girls in Truck that I've been interested in a few times at the bookstore. Check her blog and giveaway out!

Have you seen the T-Mobile Dance? I LOVE it! Have I ever told you all that I LOVE dancing. I think in my former life I was a dancer. If I could sing, I'd be hella good at musical theater. Just so you know.

In my other former life, I think I was a really tough, beefy guy. I told my favorite trainer at the gym this and so now we channel my inner beefiness. I think in my former life, I used my beefiness and toughness to get bad guys like Dog the Bounty Hunter. As much as I hate to admit it, I love this show. I also think Leland is cute which is totally unlike me. Why am I admitting this? Why?

I have baby fever so bad I feel like my ovaries are singing the blues. I WANT A BABY! What's wrong with me? I actually told my friend today that I was thinking about wanting to be a stay at home Mom. WHAT??!?! Is this me? It's so weird! It's going to be awhile before I have a baby, so I have to get myself in order before Bil comes and having a baby would actually be a reality. I don't want to have a baby until Bil has his permanent residence which is two years after we're married. We'll see what happens though! Babies, babies, babies!!!!!!

Where did I go?

2009-04-14T21:35:00.002-05:00

Wherever I went...I'm back now! I did have a friend that came in town a little over two weeks ago. I had a few days off work and was busy with her. And then, I went back to work for some craziness with making tons of baskets. Then, I went back to spending time with my friend for a couple of days and then back to basket craziness. Who knew that people want Easter baskets? Ha!

Now, I'm back in the groove and feeling good about the way things are going. Bil and I are waiting on his paperwork from Tunisia to come through so he can schedule his interview at the American consulate in Italy. I'm SO excited to see him, I can barely contain myself.

I'm making some positive changes in my life and feeling good about those as well. I just feel better than I have in the last month, I was really feeling blah.

More soon...

Today I made a basket for Dan Aykroyd

2009-03-19T22:25:00.002-05:00

Dan Aykroyd is coming to the store tomorrow to sign bottles of his new vodka. They are thinking that at least 600 people will be there. Should be an interesting day. I got to make a HUGE basket for his and his crew to take on their bus. It was a little intimidating making a basket that I know half the company will be looking at before it's given to a movie star.

I'm a little scared to go to work tomorrow because people act like freaks when there are celebrities around. Hopefully nothing too weird goes on!

Official Mail

2009-03-14T20:49:00.002-05:00

I received a very official letter today from the Department of Homeland Security stating, "the above petition [petition for fiance] has been approved."

APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

APPROVED! APPROVED! APPROVED!!!

I am so excited. What happens next is that the approved petition goes to the National Visa Center which then send the petition to the Embassy in Naples where he'll be applying. He'll then be able to set up his interview and apply for the actual visa.

I was starting to get really impatient and just decided not even to think about it anymore. The last time I talked to Bil, he told me that he felt that we were going to get an answer this week. This is not the first time he's been right about something like that. And I'm so glad that he was right.

HECK YES!!

Save the donut!

2009-03-12T22:06:00.000-05:00

The other day, I was walking through the aisles at work and this kid was riding/climbing in/on one of those carts with the little car attached to the front. He was holding a donut in one hand and holding on for dear life with the other. He fell off the side of the car (not hard, he didn't hurt himself). The kid fell and quickly turned his entire arm up so that he landed on his shoulder and saved his donut. It was one of the funniest things I've seen at the store. I love that kid.

Another day, I was standing near the Caribou Coffee at the store and this kid came over and was looking in the garbage can. He walked away and I asked him if he found anything good in the garbage. His response? "No, I was spitting out my gum, HELLO?!" I just about died laughing. Man, I love kids!

T.Hanks

2009-03-11T22:04:00.000-05:00

I wish I knew where this picture was taken. Because I want to go there.

No, I won't go on a date with you!

2009-03-10T21:20:00.004-05:00

I've been working out with a trainer lately and it's really been a great experience so far. I'm realizing more and more everyday though, that it's more about what I can do than what a trainer can do for me. I have to make my time away from the gym count just as much as my time at the gym. In my first month, I lost 8 pounds, but more importantly, lost 2.5% body fat. Heck yes! I just hope that my mind can keep up with my physical changes. For me, losing weight is as emotional as it is physical and I have to remember to work on my whole self. Dang, I sound like a freaking self-help book.

I still haven't heard anything about Raouf's visa. I'm just about done with this whole waiting business. Ugh, it's so freaking frustrating. It just doesn't seem right that people have to go through things like these. I know, I know that it will be worth it in the end.

I got asked out at work today. Normally, I'd be flattered. Today, I was not. There are a few customers that come into the store virtually every day. This guy, Jim, is one of them. He's an older (at least 50) guy that has a physical disability and apparently, no job. He always comes into the Shop to get lotion and I've talked to him before, no big deal.

Today, he came in and we were chatting and I asked him if he lived close (I figured he had to live close if he came in every dang day) and he told me where he lived and I had actually toured that apartment when I was looking for apartments. We were talking about apartments and he asked me if I signed a lease when I got my apartment and I said that I signed a one year lease. He said he had signed a two year lease because he hates moving. I said, "oh, I just signed a one year lease because I don't know what's going to happen with my fiance."

I must have told him about Raouf (side note: I still want to type Bil) before and he said, "how do you keep up such a long distance relationship?" I said that it wasn't easy, but it was worth it. Then I said that we hadn't talked since Saturday because of our conflicting work schedules. Jim said that I should tell him that I was going to start dating. I said, "oh well, I'm not going to start dating." And he said, "oh that's too bad because I'd like to take you to a nice dinner with some wine and a movie." I laughed out loud and then said, "well, I don't date people when I'm engaged."

I thought the conversation would be over there and he'd just walk out of the shop. Of course, he had to say something else awkward and said, "oh, you should date other people because how do you know that he isn't over there with a cute little Italian girlfriend." I didn't really say anything except, "mmm" and he said, "he's probably over there cheating on you." I said, "I don't really think so." At that point, another customer walked in the store and I almost hugged her.

SERIOUSLY! He's old enough to be my Dad! Ew, ew, ew! The age thing alone is enough to make me want to puke, but combined with the creepy factor it's just that much worse. Ugh. Why can't a tall, dark, and handsome guy come in and ask me out? At least I'd be flattered instead of horrified.

Portraits from the Congo

2009-03-03T23:53:00.003-06:00

Absolutely amazing portraits by Reuters photographer Finbarr O'Reilly. I can't stop looking at these.

Portraits from the Congo

#1 grips me right away
#6 makes me think about just how lucky we are...that's a HOSPITAL bed
#9 I'd love to sit down and learn from that woman, I bet she has a million stories to tell
#11 Aren't those girls gorgeous?
#12 Fantastic
#14 I just want to hug those boys. All day.
#15 Just looks like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders
#18 Is horrifying. I can't believe that there are babies in this world who can't get enough food when I work at a giant gourmet grocery store. Makes me want to run all over the world and do something.
#19 She should be out playing, not carrying firewood.
#30 I have to point this one out, but I don't have any words.
#33 The caption underneath that portrait tells a horrible story. An eight year old boy that has been through more in eight years than I'll ever go through in eighty.
#35 Gripping.
#38 I want to go to that orphanage and take that child. And the one in #35.

These are quite possibly some of the best portraits I've ever seen. Just, wow.

Overheard...

2009-03-03T21:47:00.003-06:00

I was catching up on my Google Reader (LOVE you Google Reader) tonight and reading through some of the Overheard in...blogs. A few of them really made me laugh and I thought I'd share.

From Overheard Everywhere:

Girl #1, with condom on hand: I don't know why men bitch about wearing these.
Girl #2: They say they don't feel "natural."
Girl #1: Well, neither do my glasses, but I wear them 'cause I need to see.

Why did this girl have a condom on her hand is my question?

From Overheard in the Office:

Businessman: Can I get a decaf cappuccino?
Waiter: Actually, we only have regular cappuccino here.
Businessman: Okay, I'll have one of those, just give me your phone number so I have somebody to talk to when I can't sleep tonight.

And from Overheard in Minneapolis:

Female coworker excitedly: I finally got that string off of the radio!
Female coworker matter-of-factly: That was the antenna.

When I was in college, two of my co-workers decided that they were going to steal my car antenna. I came in everyday to work for probably a month complaining about my fuzzy radio and that I couldn't believe that someone stole my antenna. I never suspected that it was one of them. Until they gave it to me as a Christmas present at our holiday party. Well played.

Abderraouf, Bilel, Bil, Bill, Raouf

2009-03-01T21:39:00.003-06:00

My third day in Italy, I met an extraordinary man working at a restaurant that I chose to ate lunch ate. I should say, he forced me to eat at. When we went on our first date, he explain his name situation to me. His real name is Abderraouf which is long and hard to say by most people that are not Arabic. It's pronounced ab-duhr-rah-oof.

When he moved to France, which was the first non-Arabic country that he lived in, he took on the French name Bilel. Tunisia was a French colony until 1957 so there is a large French influence in Tunisia and many, many Tunisians speak French including mine.

When he moved to Italy, Bilel got shortened to Bil. Bil is not pronounced like the American Bill, but with a French accent; beel (as Dawn says, rhymes with peel).

After meeting me and hanging around with my American friends, it got changed to Bil pronounced like the American Bill. Bill just doesn't work for him. I don't see him as a Bill at all, so I decided to start calling him Raouf which is what his family calls him. It's pronounced raw-oof. I never call him by his name when I talk to him, only when referring to him, so he doesn't know yet.

So, that's the story of my man's many names because I know you were all DYING to know!

Lucky

2009-02-27T22:16:00.003-06:00

This video is not the best quality, but the words of this song so accurately say how I feel about Raouf (his real name, we're phasing out Bil - I say we, but I mean me). Sigh...

Lucky by Jason Mraz featuring Colbie Caillat
Do you hear me,
Talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

45 days

2009-02-20T21:51:00.004-06:00

When an agency tells you that you will hear something within 45 days, you believe them. You think that most of the time, they have your best interest in mind and don't talk out of their butts. I should have known. The "normal" processing time, according to the immigration website for a fiance visa petition is six months. Why would mine be processed within 45 days? Doesn't make any sense. But, when the dude I talked to on the phone told me that, I believed him.

Sigh...

It's been 45 days plus one and I haven't heard anything. And it's virtually useless for me to call because they are only going to tell me that the normal processing time is six months and they already said they won't be able to give an update other than what it says online. Which is nothing.

So, here I wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. If it is six months, that approval won't be until June. That will have been a year since I left Italy. It will be another six months after that for visa approval. FFS!

On a happier subject, I've been planning and thinking about an actual wedding. It's been interesting to think about and something that I'm finding that I might want more than I thought. Perhaps more details on that soon!

I've been lacking again!

2009-02-12T21:12:00.002-06:00

I forgot to blog again. I do have a few blog posts started, but they were just fluff and I didn't want to just post fluff. So, I thought I'd post some things that are going on in my life!

*I signed up for a full year of personal training. I will get 3 sessions a week for 32 weeks and then 2 sessions a week after that. I can already tell that it's really going to motivate me! I have had three sessions in a row this week and I may be a little sore tomorrow, but I am actually enjoying it. I'm very committed to getting healthier and it mentally feels great.

*I have been actually following up with cardio and working out like I mean it. Normally, I'd just "do" cardio without paying attention to what I'm doing. Now I'm actually DOING cardio.

*I'm cleaning up my apartment to make my space more livable and more relaxing. I got a crap ton done today with it and it's looking great. I'm very slow at it though.

*I've made a couple of great friends down here and have been fostering old friendships (Dawn! Becca!)

*I'm planning (perhaps I should say Dawn's planning) a tentative actual wedding. I think I want at least some kind of ceremony rather than just signing a paper. We'll see what happens. This training thing is pretty expensive and I can't be spending a crap ton of money. And I'm trying to consider Bil's wants and needs in the whole equation too.

*I'm exploring healthy eating options that actually taste good. I can't eat cardboard and packing peanuts for lunch, it just won't work! If anyone has any ideas, let me know.

*I haven't heard anything yet on Bil's visa, but I check every single day. It's been over 8 months since we've seen each other. Eight lonnnnnggg months. And it sucks. I'll be honest, it totally sucks. The not knowing our future part is what sucks the most.

*I've been loving Overheard in the Office and Overheard in Minneapolis. This one made me laugh out

Person #1: Where is Marcelo?
Marcelo (walking in conference room): You didn't tell me the time of the meeting changed! You gave me your shaft!
(silence, followed by uncontrollable laughter)
Person #2: Whoever is teaching Marcelo English slang, please stop.

St. Paul, Minnesota

Overheard by: Highly Amusedloud because I have lots of good stories about things being mispronounced.

I'm not going to promise to blog more, but I really do want to. I have some creative things going on in this head of mine.

Scattergories

2009-02-05T00:28:00.002-06:00

From Sherri and Sarah:

1. What is your name: Toni
2. A 4 Letter Word: Tush
3. A Boys name: Terrence
4. A Girls Name: Tonya
5. An Occupation: Telemarketer
6. A Color: Teal
7. Something you wear: Toupee
8. A Beverage: TAB
9. A Food: Tuna
10. Something found in the bathroom: Toilet paper
11. A place: Tunis
12. A Reason for being late: Traffic
13. Something you shout: Terrific!!

Sexy People

2009-01-24T22:32:00.004-06:00

I recently discovered the Sexy People blog which just cracks me up. It really amuses me that the creator of the blog is in Rome, Italy. These are a few of my favorites:

Lisa

Chad

Walter with cat

I think the most depressing part of finding this website is realizing that I have my own pictures that could easily fit right in.

The hair. The pose. The clothes. I'm a mess!

The HAIR!

My best impression of a fugitive

Sigh...I have so many more. I'm just not willing to scan them in because really, I don't need to torture myself further.

25 Randoms

2009-01-22T23:56:00.002-06:00

This little doo-hickey has been floating around Facebook lately and I thought I'd just carry it over right into my blog.

25 Random Things About Me!
1. My first week of work a customer stopped dead in her tracks to look at me and told me that I looked exactly like someone she knew. I have thought about it frequently since then because I always wonder if I really do look like someone out there.
2. I was adopted.
3. I always drive and talk on my phone even though I know I shouldn't. I really shouldn't.
4. I have been spending money like a crazy person lately. One of my goals is bill reduction, starting with my cell phone and maybe cable.
5. I stay up way too late at night for no reason at all.
6. I miss so many people it's ridiculous. Bil, Courtney, Lhia, Liz, Bil, Rebecca, Linnea, Bil, Warda, Maoud, Michelle, Bil and on and on and on.
7. I've been horrible at keeping in touch with the people listed above. And with everyone else too. I'm working on it, very hard.
8. I am in love with the McDonald's girl.
9. I'm totally addicted to Facebook. It's not affecting my life negatively, but it's getting ridiculous.
10. I never remember when to use affect and when to use effect and it totally annoys me.
11. I asked my boss a "random question of the day" yesterday. The question...what is one thing that most people like that you dislike? Her response...peanut butter and jelly. My response...ketchup.
12. I could never be a vegetarian.
13. I miss Italian clementines. Sweet and juicy.
14. I carry 4 pictures of Bil in my wallet. I love when cashiers ask me about him. I love talking about him, but feel like people are sick of hearing it.
15. I called Bil about 5 times today, but he recently moved apartments and doesn't get service inside. He must have been inside a lot today because I always got the Italian lady saying some crap about the person I called not being there. It makes me sad.
16. I'm not lactose intolerant anymore. Oh yah!
17. I'm excited for the summer in the Cities. Especially living so close to Lake Calhoun and Uptown.
18. The number 17 is one of my favorite numbers.
19. My apartment is still not totally unpacked. Only because I'm super lazy.
20. I love Trader Joe's. Love. LOVE!
21. After visiting my friend Andrea and her adorable son Jake, I have baby fever again. He was walking around their house saying, "Toni Toni Toni Toni Toni Toni" like my own personal cheering squad.
22. I found yellow and orange gerber daisies at my beloved Trader Joe's.
23. I did not find the Mint "Oreos" that I was going to send a friend's husband that is living in Korea right now.
24. I totally love that Obama used his middle name in his oath.
25. I just nodded off in my computer chair. Time for bed.